In answer to The Rad Trad’s complaints over the decline of American comfort food, I have resolved to actually do something about it. Below are my rubrics for the Liturgy of Buffalo, the Use of Dallas.
There are two main components of this liturgy: ‘Liturgy of the Wing’ and ‘Liturgy of the Sauce’. We must examine these separately for the present.
Liturgy of the Wing
Preparation of the Gifts: Take some wings and cut off the useless end pieces (freeze them for stock and broth use later). Coat them in flour and let sit. Pour a thin layer of peanut oil (if allergic, use vegetable oil) in a pan and set to medium heat. Place wings in pan and cook until a crispy shell forms on the outside. Place on a plate of paper towels and let the excess oil be absorbed.
Liturgy of the Sauce
Prepare the following ingredients in a large pot on low heat:
1/4 cup Lemon juice, 3 ounces of butter, A bit of garlic, 1/3 cup of sauce (3 parts Trader Joe’s Habanero Sauce and 1 part Louisiana Hot Sauce)
Stir while it heats until all is one consistency. Take the wings from the paper towels and place them in the pot. Toss and stir until the shells of the wings are fully covered in the spicy sauce. Serve with a generous helping of beer and celery stalks. Thank God you didn’t go out for fast food and consume the gifts in gratitude.
Happy Feast of St. Joseph to all and to all some good eats!
The Ecclesial Vigilante 
Woe to you, Vigilante, as you have failed to regard the teachings of Alton the Venerable, which I revealed to you through a comment on the Rad Trad’s entry on the subject. FIRST, one must accomplish the Rite of Preparation, which includes the steaming of the wings, and THEN one does the Liturgies of the Wing and of the Sauce.
If one fails to do the Rite of Preparation, there is the Burning of the Wings in a whole burnt offering in the Oven, and there is the weeping and wailing of the people and the Chef, who latterly becomes a byword and a hissing in the ears of those same people.
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The oven? In the Southern United States we don’t use ovens. We pan fry our meat in oil!
Local usages are necessary if the tradition of the Buffalo Wing is to be preserved. Otherwise, the conglomerate mass-produced Nuwings hawked by the chains like Wingstop and Buffalo Wild Wings will win out. Let us accept and foster these local customs for the good of the whole, shedding off any Ultra-Altonist tendencies we may have. The pizza survived in the face of commercialization precisely because of the diversity of the local traditions.
Meanwhile, we are putting together our own rite of preparation which includes a lengthy marination in buttermilk before the breading.
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Ah, Southern Fried Chicken Wings! And with a buttermilk soak and a spiced flour/bread crumb dredge! What’s not to like about that?
I entirely agree that local usage is essential to the preservation of a culture, whether it be liturgical or gastronomical. Nonetheless, this does not mean that good results cannot be obtained by attention to good cooking technique or a knowledge of the history and the theology of liturgy.
In food culture, for example, the knowledge of the people has only been improved by the knowledge of technique imparted by St. Julia Child, Apostle to the Philistines, or Alton the Venerable in these latter days. Likewise, the service of regional liturgies has only been improved by the knowledge which has come from the late Dom Gregory Dix, or from Archimandrite Robert Taft.
What all four of the examples I have provided share in common was and is their love of the subject of their studies, and their desire better to serve the results of their studies. In this, they are unlike the mass of ‘liturgists’ (ugh! The very word inspires disgust!) or those indifferent slingers of high grade hash called ‘fusion cuisine’. The latter are the ones who say, “Siracha is good! Ice cream is good! Therefore, there should be nothing wrong with a Siracha ice cream!” The former are those who say, “Liturgy is good! Clowns are good! Therefore, there should be nothing wrong with a clown mass!”
By the way, I’m looking forward to the liturgy (er, recipe) for Southern Fried Chicken Wings. Sounds like Good Eats to me.
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